Paperjamhorribilus

The paper jam in the printer, which happens five minutes before that very important meeting with your manager and where a group of colleagues around the printer give you dirty looks because it was your print job that caused the paper jam.

Goodolddaysbore

The type of “experienced” colleague who will tell you in length that your new idea isn’t new, has been tried before in the past, will fail miserably and why the past was so much better than today.

Whispernay-sayers

The small group of colleagues in the back of the meeting room during your presentation, whispering amongst themselves, snickering and in general showing complete disapproval for whatever you say.

Project success factor

The inverse correlation between the number of committees, dashboards, progress meetings and external consultants; and the chance of a project succeeding within time and budget.

Whatever-you-do-it-will-be-the-wrong-thing email

The cryptic e-mail from your manager asking you to do this really important thing for him/her while he/she is on holiday, but you have no clue what it is about and your manager cannot be reached to clarify.

Oh

The slightly disconcerting feeling you get when you report back to your manager on the first day back in the office after your summer holiday, and your manager says he didn’t even notice you were gone.

Llanfairpwllgwyngyll

The type of manager or consultant that cannot convey his/her ideas unless scribbled and drawn feverishly on a white board, which later on make no sense and look more like Sanskrit or hieroglyphs.