ExcelTrauma

The traumatic feeling after you have spent hours trying to sort out why on earth Excel is not showing the right totals in your pivot table or waterfall chart, when your colleagues cleverly points out you missed one cell in your calculation.

Paperjamrootcause

The tiny piece of torn paper in the photocopier, easily seen but impossible to remove, that causes the paper to jam (thanks to Chris Torrero).

Toolatesneer

The perfect sneer that you think of an hour after your colleague made a sarcastic remark at your expense during the team meeting.

Paperjamhorribilus

The paper jam in the printer, which happens five minutes before that very important meeting with your manager and where a group of colleagues around the printer give you dirty looks because it was your print job that caused the paper jam.

Goodolddaysbore

The type of “experienced” colleague who will tell you in length that your new idea isn’t new, has been tried before in the past, will fail miserably and why the past was so much better than today.

Whispernay-sayers

The small group of colleagues in the back of the meeting room during your presentation, whispering amongst themselves, snickering and in general showing complete disapproval for whatever you say.

Project success factor

The inverse correlation between the number of committees, dashboards, progress meetings and external consultants; and the chance of a project succeeding within time and budget.